Sometimes, I don’t know if I make my life more complicated than it has to be, or if it’s just that difficult. I’ll rewind a little bit, so this blog will make sense (if that’s possible). I was home sick all weekend, actually since Thursday, so I had a lot of times on my hands, to do absolutely nothing. But that is neither here nor there. So Saturday night, I had a conversation with someone about an ex. The ex was the subject of this blog, and the question came up, if Marcus asked to get back with me, would I do it. I answered no, because I had caused him such pain, and did him so wrong, for no reason, that I couldn’t see Karma not coming back to bite me in the ass. That was pretty much the end of said conversation. Now if Marcus’ ears weren’t burning…dude called my house # like 5 times last night. I answered on the 6th. He asked to speak to me, and for some reason, even after 6 years, I knew who it was. I asked how he got my number, he said from a mutual friend when we we’re in the US Navy. We talked, we laughed, we reminisced, it was a great conversation. He asked me why I did the things I did, why I lied, why I cheated, why I broke his heart. 6 years have gone by, so I had all of those answers, and was so glad that he asked, and I was able to give him an explanation. He deserves it. Now this is where it gets tricky. I live in Dallas. Dallas is hosting the NBA All-star Weekend next year. He wants to meet up. Also, his job has him always traveling to Dallas at least a couple times a month. So now WTF is jamz. to do? Do I meet up with him? If I do, do I risk feelings becoming involved again? Is it worth it, when I’m happy? I’m so lost, I don’t know what to do. Part of me doesn’t see the harm in going to dinner and catching up. The other part is like, why put yourself in that situation? But as always, I’ll figure it out. I always do.

I had a draft, and there’s a few men on my team. When I say team, I mean bench-warmers, no starters, but they definitely have potential. No, I’m not sexing any of them.

I feel like weighing my options is a great thing, it never hurts to have a backup plan or 2 (or 3). But, I’m wondering by talking to these men at the same time, am I taking away from THAT one, that may be the one I want? I mean, I like them all, if I didn’t, my time wouldn’t be wasted on them, let alone mention them in my blog. But, I’m starting to think relationships are overrated, and as soon as this became my thought process, these men want to get more serious. Go figure. I really like the idea of being with one person, and being able to give yourself to them, but at the same time, I like the attention from my other male suitors too(hey, it’s the Leo in me).

I will sleep on it for 27 more days (until January 1st), and I’m 99.9% sure, I will have a resolution. Maybe. Hopefully.